What to Talk About With a Girl: Topics That Keep a Conversation Going

You got past the first message, she replied, and the conversation started moving. For a couple of days everything flows: where you're from, what you do, how the weekend went. Then you're staring at an empty reply box with no idea what to say next. It feels like you've covered every topic already, and asking "how was your day" for the fifth time feels awkward.

At this point a lot of guys think the problem is them: "I'm boring, I have nothing to say." Almost always that's not true. Topics aren't something you pull ready-made out of your head — you find them as the conversation goes, and that's a skill you can pick up in one evening. Let's go through where topics come from, which questions work better than the standard ones, and what to do when the conversation really does start running out of steam.

Where topics come from

Her profile

The most underrated source. She's already told you about herself: photos, a bio, answers to prompts. Every detail in there can become a topic: a place in a photo, a dog, a book she's holding, a line about her job or about something she can't stand. Reread her profile after you've already started talking — you'll notice things you skipped over while deciding whether to message her at all.

For example: "In one photo you're at some mountain lake. Where's that? Looks like it took about three hours of hiking to get there."

What she's already written

Every message from her carries more than just an answer to your question. She mentioned being tired after work, a friend's birthday coming up, visiting her parents this weekend. Those are all threads you can pull on. Instead of asking her something new, go back to something she said in passing.

For example: "You mentioned things are crazy at work right now. Is that normal for you, or is this a particularly rough stretch?"

Your own life

A conversation where you only ask questions quickly turns into an interview. Talk about yourself too: what happened today, something funny you saw on the way somewhere, what you're watching or reading right now. You don't have to wait for something big to happen — small stuff works better. It's easy to respond to, and it shows you're an actual person.

For example: "Today on the subway a guy was holding a giant potted plant on his lap and talking to it. I'm still wondering what he was telling it."

Topics for texting a girl that usually land

If you need an actual list, here are topics that are easy to answer and fun to riff on. The key is not to fire them off one after another like a questionnaire: one topic, your own story, her answer, and the conversation carries itself.

Light and everyday:

• food: what she cooks, her favorite spot, a place with great food, a dish she'll never try;
• weekends: how she spends them, her idea of a perfect Saturday, plans for the next one;
• shows, movies, books: what she's watching now, what she rewatches, something everyone loves that she doesn't;
• travel: where she's been, where she wants to go, the weirdest or funniest story from a trip;
• music: what she listens to on the way somewhere, her first concert, a song she's embarrassed to like.

A bit deeper, once the conversation is rolling:

• childhood: what she wanted to be, what she still remembers, what she used to play;
• work and ambition: what she likes about it, what she'd do if money weren't a factor;
• habits and quirks: her morning routine, what annoys her, where she's stubborn;
• plans: what she wants to get done this year, what she'd love to learn.

Playful, for when the chat needs a jolt:

• "what would you do if…": won the lottery, woke up in another country, got a free month off;
• pick one: ocean or mountains, early bird or night owl, movie night in or at the theater;
• quick stories: "tell me about the most ridiculous situation you've ever ended up in."

How to ask so it's actually fun to answer

The topic itself only does so much — a lot depends on how the question is phrased.

Open questions instead of closed ones. "Do you like to travel?" gets you one answer: yes or no. "Where would you go if you had a free ticket to anywhere tomorrow?" gets you a story.

Ask, and answer it yourself first. Not just "what's your favorite movie," but "I rewatched Back to the Future recently and realized I missed half the jokes as a kid. Is there a movie that hits different for you now than it did growing up?" That sets the tone and shows you're actually interested, not just checking a box.

One question at a time. Three questions in one message force her to pick which one to answer, and the rest get lost. Better to send one good one.

React to her answer. The most common mistake: getting a reply and immediately jumping to the next question. Comment on it, joke about it, share something similar, ask about a detail. That's what keeps it a conversation instead of an interview.

What's better left unsaid early on

• Exes and past relationships. That's a topic for trust you haven't built yet.
• Money, salaries, who spends what.
• Politics and heated debates. Tone doesn't carry over text, and a debate turns into a fight fast.
• Compliments on her looks in every single message, and anything too suggestive. One well-placed compliment is nice; a steady stream is exhausting and a little alarming.
• Complaining about life or about other women on the app. That tells her something about you — just not what you want it to.

If you've run out of topics

It happens to every conversation, and it doesn't mean it's over. There are a few ways to bring it back to life.

Go back to an old thread. Reread the conversation from the start. There's almost always something you dropped halfway through — her trip, something going on at work, a movie she was planning to watch. Ask how it turned out.

Send her a reason. A photo of something you saw, a link related to something you talked about, a small funny thing from your day. That kind of message doesn't demand an answer to a question — it's just pleasant to react to.

Suggest meeting up. If you've been texting for a week or two and the conversation is starting to run dry, that's often a sign texting has done its job. Suggest coffee or a walk: an actual conversation will give you more to talk about than another month of texting ever could.

If the conversation has already gone quiet and she's stopped replying, that has its own causes and its own fixes: she stopped texting back: why it happens and how to restart the conversation.

When the conversation stalls from the very start

If conversations keep failing to take off right after the first few messages, the problem is usually at the very start. We covered that separately: the first message on a dating app: how to write one that gets a reply.

And if you want someone else to take a look at an actual conversation, there's Message Helper: show it the chat as a screenshot, and it finds threads worth pulling on and suggests what to write next.

Frequently asked questions

What should I talk about with a girl if she answers in one word? Try an open question that can't be answered with "yes" or "no," and add something of your own to it. If the answers stay short even after that, she might be busy right now, or just not that into it. That's fine — don't force a conversation that isn't there.

How long should you text before meeting up? There's no fixed rule, but one or two weeks of genuine back-and-forth is usually enough. If the conversation is going well, you can suggest meeting even sooner. A long stretch of texting without a meetup tends to fizzle out rather than turn into something more.

Is it okay to text her first every day? Yes, if she's replying easily and asking questions herself. If you're the one carrying the whole conversation, take a day or two off and see if she reaches out first.

What if I'm afraid of coming across as boring? What makes a conversation boring is a string of nothing but questions, even if you've got plenty of interesting stories. Share small details from your own life, react to her answers, and don't shy away from simple topics — that's usually where a real conversation starts.

In short

You don't need to plan out topics for texting a girl in advance. They're sitting right there in her profile, in what she's already written, and in your own day. Ask open questions, add something of your own, react to her answers, and don't turn the conversation into a questionnaire. And once the topics start running dry, that's a good moment to suggest meeting up — the best conversations still happen in person.